This year London Underground is 150 years old and on reaching its very special anniversary it remains a wonder of the modern age. Londoners have a love-hate relationship with the Tube. We are fiercely proud of having the world’s first tube line. She connects us to so many cool places in and around London and it is always warm (we try to forget this might be unnatural). She is showing her age though despite a bit of cosmetic work and is utterly jam packed regardless of whether rush or non-rush hour. She also has the audacity to stop running at around midnight forcing you to run like Usain Bolt for the last tube home unless you are happy, shudder, to take the night bus.
That said, we love her and simply could not do without her. Londoners are a friendly bunch and genuinely love tourists who want to experience our great city, but we also, ahem, get a little impatient with Tube amateurs. So, here is my quick guide on how to use the Tube like a True Londoner – and pop up into the fresh air unscathed.
[list style=”check”]- When travelling on the escalator please be sure to WALK on the left and STAND on the right. Londoners are always in a rush and cannot spare a single millisecond, not even on an escalator (which in effect carries you to the top anyway). Sorry, we are far too busy and important.[/list]
- Did you know the Piccadilly Line carries you and your luggage all the way to Heathrow Airport? Hurrah! However, take heed keen adventurer. Avoid travelling with suitcases/backpacks/winter-sports equipment in rush hour unless your morning flight time allows no alternative. Large bags and snowboards annoy the heck out of Londoners and most will manoeuvre around or even over you as you struggle red-faced down the stairs. Please try not to interpret this as rudeness – let’s face it, you’re going on holiday and we’re going to work. Harsh, but true.[/list]
- Plan your journey in advance. Avoid standing at the bottom of the stairs scratching your head and debating the advantages of using the blue or yellow line (hmm, or maybe the pink line will be best?) and unwittingly blocking the gateway to the platform. Londoners show no mercy when it comes to unfamiliarity if they have places to go and people to see. Use your iPhone app/Lonely Planet/personal tour guide wisely.[/list]
- On arrival at the platform, refrain from stopping and instead turn left or right and keep on walking. Go on, right down to the very end (look out for scurrying rats!). This is a True Londoners top tip to keep to yourself. It is far less crowded and you are nearly always guaranteed a seat even if it is next to the driver’s cabin. Although this is quite exciting really and can make you feel like a kid again.[/list]
- Make eye contact / chat to fellow commuters / smile at your peril. Londoners adopt the ultimate survival technique to get through the journey – they ignore their fellow passengers by tapping furiously on their smartphone, skimming over an Evening Standard, or getting lost in a good book. All executed while wearing earphones and blocking out any other sound. Attempts to strike up a conversation are futile – unless you are on the party tube. See point 8.[/list]
- When using an Oyster card tap once and proceed swiftly through the gates when you hear the beep. If you fail to get through, attempt another quick but definite swipe. A third time if you’re feeling lucky, punk. Never, ever four though, oh dear God no. Step away from the machine and seek out a friendly London Underground staff member for assistance at once before the blood-thirsty crowds behind start to move forward…[/list]
- On entering the carriage proceed to move down into the compact space between the rows of seats and avoid blocking the door. Do so, and I guarantee within three seconds you will hear a booming great ‘MOVE DOWN PLEASE!’ from the poor passengers still stuck on the platform. Some brave souls may shout back ‘I CAN’T’ but I wouldn’t risk it. Best thing is to play ball and squish yourself into an impossible gap. Give it two weeks in London and you too will be furiously shouting ‘MOVE DOWN’ if you see an inch of unused space. It feels a bit authoritative, dare I say smug, and is effective in getting you to your destination at least one minute faster.[/list]
- Take a ride on the Party Tube. Usually running any time from around 11pm on a Friday when the pubs are turning out and the post-work / pre-club Londoners are out to play. Passengers on the party tube are funny, chatty and can often be found singing. They desperately want to talk to you and find out where you’re from and are you having a good stay? They are drunk. It’s great fun. It’s London.[/list]
Good luck!
Nicola
NicolaG
